Monday, July 19, 2010

Joisey Girls Part II

I'm typing up notes on tonights episode as it plays out :

-Teresas girls at karate are hilarious and adorable "I dont want to fight, I want to go out to eat"

-Danielle at boxing, not hilarious or adorable, Danny scares the living daylights out of me, can you imagine meeting that thug in a back alley?

-Puhhhhlease Danielle, the only reason you are being chased is because you are baiting them! (imagine the other housewives are dogs and dirty d is a hotdog, dirty d hooked herself up to a fishing line on the dogs back so the dog will keep chasing her) That made sense in my head, hopefully you can get the visual. If not my apologies.

- How fun would it be work with your family like they all do at the Brownstone? I can imagine you would get sick of it, but still

-Albie, swooonnn. So presh.

- I liked that Teresa apologized to Kim DI

- What do you think Posche smells like? I imagine cheap perfume, spearmint gum, and cigarettes. Sick.

-I think Kim G borrowed that hat from Ashley

-Kim D gets a point in my book for her pood, precious!

-ohhh god there go Teresa and Joe with some sex innuendo again

-the other creep with Dirty D and Danny looks like Mickey Rourke in Sin City

- YAY ALBIE GOT THE LETTER!!!!! So he can apply other places now AND we can continue the journey to be a legal dream team/lovers together.

-Yum that pizza looks appetizing

- Why are they meeting with a lawyer in the middle of the parking lot instead of an office?

-ehhh what is with Jac gelling down her hair giving her faux sideburns, no good.

-Ashley's hat makes its weekly showing

- I cannot believe that Kim G had the nerve to show up at Jacs house.

- Next weeks ep is going to be like super sweet 16 combined with Housewives = gold!

ok enough from the peanut gallery, night all!

Joisey Girls

Well its one of my favorite tv nights of the week, Real Housewives of New Jersey night, and of course the follow up with Watch What Happens Live.
Now I was immediately drawn to this show last summer and it instantly became my favorite of all the housewives shows. Whether its the inappropriate talk of bubbies and chuckys or sometimes if we are so lucky... the puffy chucky. If you are not a viewer of the show bubbies= tatas and chucky = vajayjay, princess, britney, wee wee... or what ever you call it. And well the puffy chucky is when a man loves a woman and they make a baby and her chucky gets... you get the picture.

Other reasons I am obsessed:
1.Dinas kittys, Grandma Wrinkles and Lady bug, meooow
Photo Credit- GrandmaWrinkles on Twitter

2. Caroline Manzo- I love her upfront personality, her home cooking, how important her family is to her and the fact that he is going to be my mother in law if all goes well with Albie and moi

3. Ughhh Dirty D, ie Danielle. Now I dont love her, but I am so attracted to watching her like a moth to a light. I really do hope that out of her craziness her children turn out to be successful, her daughter really is beautiful and I hope that her modeling career isnt disturbed by her mother riding on her coat tails, or the sex tape that she released herself (barf-a-rooni and cheese)

ehh enough with this numbering I also "Love love love" Teresa and her creepy stories about her and "Juicy Joes" sex life, their daughters ridiculous outfits that are so ostentatious they are kind of cute. The hat that Ashley wears in every episode (I dont love the hat, its just kind of like her uniform like on the show Doug), and the countless quips and quotes that all of them add to the insanity.

Watch What Happens Live comes on after and constantly I crack up and text back and forth with one of my good friends S about Andy's hilarious facial expressions, the level of drunkenness of his guests and of course our favorite pre teen BEN WEINERSSSSSS! Ben calls in every week. Unfortunately for me and everyone else who loves Ben, he is at Jewish summer camp so will not be able to call in till August, sad.

And I am feeling sporadic, back to the numbering, the number 1 reason I love this show is from the first season. Drum roll please kdjfsa;kdjflkasdjflka;sjdfkasdjfklasdf (that was the drum roll)

THE TABLE FLIP!!!!!!!!!!!

There is no other unscripted (or scripted for that matter) television show that could come up with the genius that is the Real Housewives of New Jersey.


Friday, July 16, 2010

Eat Great Even Late

This is a google maps review of Wendys, ya know, I on many occasions have had the EXACT sentiments:

Thanks Liz for this link!


House Guest

Today I think I am gonna do a couple short little quips but then again who really knows. My Aunt/Uncle/Cousins went on vacation the other day so we took their dog Bunny to watch. Now Bunny is chocolate toy pood (poodle) and the cutest darn thing you ever did see. However, this precious little munchkin has something much deeper and darker and devilish brewing... in her loins.
Thats right Bunny is a humper. She has been fixed so I don't know why she is still so randy
but I imagine she was just a member of Jersey Shore in a past life so she still has it in her. From arms to legs to Chauncey (our cat). Regardless of it all, its hilarious that she is such a hussy. Love you Bunny, Bun-Bun, Bunnerator, Bunzilla, Boo, Buff. And yes those are all names I have called her in the last 36 hours.

For your viewing pleasure and pure hilarity. Here is the little rouge with Chauncey. The picture is kind of dark since it was done on a cell phone but if you squint you can make out Chaunceys face in disgust on the right and the outline of wittle Bun Bun.

Photo Credit: Ingrid


Thursday, July 15, 2010

If I were a boy

I just remembered this from this morning, so I was watching the big St Andrews tournament with my dad and John Daly came on out with these AWESOME pants. If I were a boy golfer I for one would wear these. But not only would I be an amazing golfer, I would pose for pictures with my hand on my hip and my golf club over my shoulder with my toe pointed, unlike crabby cupcake John Daly in this shot.

And if I were a boy cheerleader I would definitely have moves, and spirit fingers like this lad

I have a sickness

Like the title suggests, I have a sickness, or maybe not a sickness, rather its like hypnotism. Ladies and gentlemen, I cannot go into a darn Target and not over spend by at least $50.
I swear to you, yesterday I had a very clear cut list of things I needed, the most important of all was a converter for my trip so that I can use my straightener and blow dryer etc.

So regardless of my clear cut list I walk in, go for a cart rather than basket (lets face it, I prob didnt even need a basket I could have carried my goods) and my basket like a magnetic force immediately vears right into sunglasses/accessories. Then like I am wearing an outfit made of tinfoil and paperclips, the magnetic force pulls me into shoes. "Well, I mean I have been looking for a pair of nude pumps..." into the basket, "ooo I will probably need another pair of flats..." into the basket. Ok turn the corner, feeling the pull to peruse the clothes. A godly force made me decide not to look at every piece of knock off clothing and so I finally get down to my list.
I am at this point on a roll, no Targetly distractions and then all of a sudden I remember I need a new planner. Well this dang store has them in the same aisle as the scrap booking sparkly things, bad news. So I start thinking of all the pretty things to decorate my planner. ** NOTE: I am like a bird and am super attracted to shiny/glitter etc.** I manage to escape because the poor student in me overcomes the crow bird me and realize that the decorations wouldnt even be seen because I have a nice planner cover.

Anyway as it always seems to happen, I went in with a very specific list, and came out with all kinds of crap that most definitely were NOT on my list, and guess what didnt come out either... the damned converter. kdjfaksdfkjahdsfkjadhf

I think part of the problem is not that I go into a spell like state when I enter Target, but also I am the best/worst justifier of why I need something. For example I suppose if the heels dont get worn too often, they will look UH-MAZINGGGG on my feet with some underwear tshirt and glass of wine in hand dancing around my living room if the mood strikes me, not that that has ever happened or anything.... Oh and I totally look like Cameron Diaz too when this happens or doesn't happen....

Does anyone else get like this when they go into a store or am I the one nutcase out there?


Tuesday, July 13, 2010


Sikeee, you thought that was going to be my only post tonight, however I just saw a commercial that changed it all. There is going to be a DAVID HASSELHOFF ROAST!!! Now here is the bad news, it is on Aug. 15th... and I leave on the 12th. You, being 99.9% of the population on Earth (excluding the Germans), are probably thinking why would I want to watch that? I pose an even better question... WHY NOT!?!? Its the Hoff! Anyhoo again sorry for that mini rant, heres hoping they have Comedy Central in London, or that I can watch this bad boy on Hulu.


Ello' Govna!

Pip pip cheerio lads and lassies, this is the first post of many on my upcoming 4 month adventure to foggy london town. I am doing a law school study abroad program in central London and will be living in Bloomsbury, also in central London. To give you perspective its about 2 miles from my future husband, his majesty Prince Harry in Buckingham palace (pretty convenient if you ask me). I am waiting to hear back on a potential internship which would be UN-FREAKING-BELIEVEABLE, so we shall wait and see.

There is just one thing I am nervous about, I know many people much like myself have a slight, no, HUGE thing for men with accents. Naturally being in England everyone has an accent. I am just hoping for the best and that I wont have "beer goggles" on throughout every waking moment and end up dating... well a Fat Bastard look alike that in my mind looks like James Bond because I am so taken with his voice.... heres hoping......

Anyway I leave in a little less than a month so I am sure in that time I will write about 10,000 lists, pack about and unpack 10 times and watch Love Actually/Notting Hill/Bridget Jones and well yes lets be honest Austin Powers on repeat. On that note, I am signing off, hope everyone sleeps extra super amazing and has sweet dreams of my future lover (pictured above).

Cheers Y'all!